May 2013
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“If your dad is black, why don’t you have the hair? Or the nose?”
– Apparently racial diversity is strictly the domain of white people.
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“No offense, but you’re more of a mother hen than a team leader.”
– My boss.
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“Your hair is so cute! What are you mixed with?”
– I’m a black girl who happens to have long hair. I didn’t know those two things were mutually exclusive.
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I have a speech impediment, and about all I can say is vowels. I work in the dining hall at my college. Today, someone in line saw me and said “Great, we have the retard AGAIN. Why do they even hire her? No one can understand retardese.”
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My coworker is helping a woman in a hijab veil pick out makeup, and they are testing foundations to find her colour. I’m standing behind the counter with another coworker who laughs quietly to me and says “What’s the point?” As if I’m supposed to agree with her.
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“Are you from India or Pakistan?”
– A random customer at my job asked me, a dark skinned latina, who was borned and raised in Texas. I felt irritated with this man. Why are those the only possible countries you think I have any connection to?
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I hate when people make comments about a girl having “huge tits” in front of me, as I have large breasts that I am really self-conscious of. It makes me think of people saying that about me as I walk by.
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When people ask me what my heritage is, I tell them Mexican and Irish (my parents were both born in the US), and people always say, “That’s such a weird combination!” I know that they mean it in a cultural sense and not a racial one, but it’s still is a little confusing/upsetting.
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In all of my Computer Science classes, and talks by industry professionals, the speakers only refer to hackers/programmers in theoretical scenarios as “he” or “him.” Made me feel upset, erased, irrelevant, useless.
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My significant other and I are both trans* and both closeted. I’m a DFAB (designated female at birth) boy, she’s a DMAB (designated male at birth) girl. I walk her to class every day, and every day I hear “the boy is supposed to walk the girl to class”. I don’t know what makes me feel worse- the blatant sexism and heteronormativity, or the fact that she and I are...
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Friend: Yeah, you act like this sometimes.
She pulls on her eye lids to give me slanty eyes. I'm East Asian. She's white. For someone who I thought was my friend, she sure had no trouble expressing her feelings about my culture and me.
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In 2009 I attended an event where people could test drive a car that had yet to debut on the market. I dressed up nicely (wore my favorite skirt!) and made sure I had flats on so it was easier to press the clutch because I wanted to test drive the manual version. When it came my turn to pick a car, I specifically asked for a manual transmission. “A stick?” the guy asked....
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I am studying to become a teacher. I am black and I have natural hair. One of my colleagues found it necessary to pull me aside and inform me that “my current hair situation” just was not professional enough for me to go out to schools on teaching practice and she was surprised my lecturer hadn’t spoken to me about it. She reccommended that I “invest” in whatever...
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I had to cover my nose with a fan during cosplay so people will actually take pictures otherwise I’d look “too persian” Fuck you guys, I make a cute ass persian enma ai
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My college level professor expressed her opinion that it is unprofessional and wrong for queer professors to discuss their sexuality in class. She said that queers should not be influencing young minds this way. She then proceeded to talk about her own husband and marriage later in the class.
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My professor told our class that over ninety percent of Africa was illiterate.
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In a casual group setting, I get into a 25-minute argument with a championship debater about why it’s inappropriate and dehumanizing to say the ‘n-word’ in reference, even when there are no Black/African American people present. I’m the only POC (person of color) in the room, and no one can understand why I’m being so ‘sensitive.’ Made me feel ignored and...
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Him: Hey what are you?
Me: If you mean what nationality I am, I'm Mexican
Him: There's nothing wrong with that, as long as you parents aren't gardeners
Me:
Him: I'm just kidding......You're sensitive about race!
I was pissed off.
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Do people who use the phrase “first world problems” not realize that this is also a microaggression? Assuming that people in non-first world countries are too wrapped up in their ~horrible poor lives~ to have “everyday” concerns? It operates on the predication that inhabitants of non first world countries are in blanket states of “underprivileged” existence and...
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This is a school that is majority white, but gets many foreign students. I'm in my dorm complex and I hear this exchange:
Asian Student: Do I look black to you? Then why are you throwing money at me!?
They see me and go sheepish, scuttling out of the area.
I'm a mixed race person who identifies as black. It's sad that when PoC come to America to study, one of the first things they learn is that anti-blackness is key to assimilation.
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My 8 year old brother put one of my pink peace pins on his bag and proudly said it was a sign of my love for him. The next day he came home sobbing and begged me to take it off because he’d been made fun of for it.
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As a child I play with Legos and Erector Sets but am told I should be a teacher when I grow up. As a teenager I help my grandfather repair trucks and work on construction around the house along with a male neighbor. When I make mistakes I am ridiculed as stupid and for thinking like a girl. When the male neighbor makes the same mistakes, he’s forgiven for not knowing what he hasn’t...
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My doctor diagnoses me with vaginismus, which is a condition which can make penetrative sex painful or difficult. She explains that it isn’t so bad because I am ‘too young to be having sex anyways’ and that one day ‘my husband will understand.’ I really want to be able to have sex, and I don’t appreciate the assumption that I like men or that I desire marriage...
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My college likes to call itself the most LGBT-friendly school in the country. This happened during a conversation I overheard before a class started while a couple people were discussing a female-identifying cosplayer at the school who often cosplays as male characters:
Female: Well, she…
Male 1: You mean he.
Male 2: Yeah, isn’t [cosplayer] a he?
Female: No, it’s she, it’s not like she’s a transgender or anything!
And then laughter from all three. I'm trans* and sitting right behind them.
April 2013
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“But you look white!” or “haha, you look Asian in this photo!”
– From more of my white friends than I care to count. I’m Burmese, and have pale skin. Makes me feel like my identity is being erased
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An older male I know keeps asking about my boyfriend, even though I told him I don’t have a GIRLfriend. And why can’t I, as a young woman, just be single? Made me feel diminished, like he thinks a woman can’t exist without being in a relationship.
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When I go to the doctor about an STD that’s bothering me, he said “ah, of course.” When I asked him what he meant he said that roughly 1 in 2 african american females have herpes according to the CDC. which is what I was there for. I felt so upset.
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My friend was frustrated that she couldn’t but anything under “disadvantages” on her application, so she says, “Sometimes I wish I was half black and half latino, then I’d get into everything.”
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“Don’t make fun of your boyfriend in public. It’s emasculating. A...”
– My dad when I was 16-years-old.
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“How much money would you put on the Boston bombers being Muslim?”
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I logged into Facebook and saw the memes sprawling all over my feed equating the Boston bombings to terrorists, Muslims, and immigrants. I messaged them and engaged in dialogue validating their frustration but expressing how offended I felt and how perpetuating Islamaphobia only results in more violence, especially towards people who look “Middle Eastern”. One person took it down and...
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My close friend is Armenian, and her father has friends in the Armenian community in Watertown, much of which is located on Franklin. In these last 24 or so hours, one of his friends have received calls, threatening or yelling at him just for being Armenian. Allegedly, these calls have blamed Armenians for helping the Russians, though this man did not help the suspects at all. Like everyone else,...
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I’m from Ocala, FL and living in Boston. I just called my local newspaper in Florida to ask how they were being sensitive to anti-Islamic sentiment in their reporting of the Boston Incident… they accused me of being racist against southern Christians.
I felt hurt, confused, saddened. Wish people didn’t feel the need to defend and were able to listen. Wished people understood...
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Upon having seen coverage of the Boston Marathon bombing, my mother, who is white, states, “Middle Easterns… always killing everybody.” I’m Middle Eastern, early 20s, and her son. My little sisters, who are South Asian were also in the same room, and they heard that. I felt very angry, unsafe, disappointed.
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I happen to have more body hair than most girls, and I choose not to shave. Every time someone - a friend, a schoolmate, anyone - says something about my legs or underarms, I want to go hide. Last summer, I finally gave in. I have begun waxing both my legs and my underarms. I feel more confident about wearing shorts and tank tops, but I also feel like I have “lost” the battle because...
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Today one of my roomates bought supplies for the apartment, and texted everyone except for me (I’m the only black person living here) to ask them to chip in money for it. She then asked my best friend and other roomate, in regards to me: “do you think it will be hard to get the money out of her?” It wasn’t going to be, but now it sure as hell will be. Like because I’m...
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While working as a tutor at a charter high school that is predominantly African American, a young boy asks me (a Black woman) if I could give him information about becoming a doctor. He knows I am slated to go to medical school early the next year and has always wanted to become a surgeon. I’m delighted and give him lots of information. The next day I am told to go to the office.
The...
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A Week of Fear
On Friday evening, after the second suspect in the Boston marathon bombings had been caught, President Obama took to a podium, and said the following:
That American spirit includes staying true to the unity and diversity that makes us strong — like no other nation in the world. In this age of instant reporting and tweets and blogs, there’s a temptation to latch on to any bit of information,...
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Last year at the office party, the people in charge of preparing name tags for the party hadn’t made one for my wife although she was clearly listed as my spouse in the office directory and it was my third year on the job (all three years with my spouse). Straight friends who were had been dating for a year or less had name tags for their partners, and other homosexual partners were in the...
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In my office I have a photo of myself and my family from my high school graduation (I’m now in my mid 20’s). My advising professor (I’m a sociology graduate student) saw the photo, looked at me, and said, “Wow, what happened?” Then quickly corrected himself saying that I looked fine now, but just less “girly.”
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I recently bought a house with my husband. We need to replace the septic tank. I filled out paperwork with the county and our septic contractor. Despite my name and signature being on all the forms, the approved permit came back with my husband’s name listed as the “applicant” and “home owner.” My name was no where on the permit. I’ll add this to the list: other...
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My sister was buying pads at the grocery store, as she was standing in line an older man blatantly glares at her, mouth open in disgust.
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I work as a teacher on a Native reserve. Students are behind because of social reasons — lack of motivation, their parents are into drugs, drinking, are fighting, etc. I see this as a consequence of a history of white oppressors forcing the Natives onto reserves, and enacting cultural genocide. Most of the teachers are white, and one of my coworkers (white) is racist, but seems to be...
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My co-worker went to Home Depot to buy a posthole digger to build a fence on her land. A teenaged male employee recommended that my coworker, who is in her fifties, buy the smaller posthole digger that was painted pink that they had available. She was furious— she needed to build a fence, not decorate her tool shed.
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My six-year-old son is proud of his long hair and also prefers to wear pretty clothes even if they’re intended for girls. A woman sitting next to him at a craft event starts to talk to him and calls him a girl. When he replies that he isn’t a girl, she grimaces, turns away, and doesn’t talk to him the rest of the time. My son doesn’t seem to notice, but I silently watch...
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“You act (or “are trying to act”) white.”
– Because I’m predominately Black, and I articulate when I speak.
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“Oh my god, aren’t guys who aren’t manly ashamed of themselves? Don’t they want...”
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“I’m supposed to write my statement of diversity– but I’m not a minority, I...”
– My friend when writing her medical school application essays- she didn’t know that I was raped the year before when studying abroad.
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During a meeting I had set up with my middle-aged white female English Composition professor to discuss some issues I had with her essay prompts (vague or conflicting directions, mostly), she cut me off and said, “Well, you know, the University education ISN’T for everyone. You might want to consider your alternatives, like trade school or the military.” When I asked her what she...
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“Did you steal that baby?!? It looks terrified!”
– a white, female friend’s comment on a picture of me (fairly dark Filipino male) holding one of my best friend’s 6-month-old son (white, blond, blue eyes) that I had posted on FB. 