power, privilege, and everyday life.

I have a speech impediment, and about all I can say is vowels. I work in the dining hall at my college. Today, someone in line saw me and said “Great, we have the retard AGAIN. Why do they even hire her? No one can understand retardese.”

Complete strangers say, “How dare you have children. That should be considered child abuse. Aren’t you concerned that it might be genetic?”

Or “Are you sure you can really take care of children?”

I’m legally blind but not totally blind and I can technically get around without a cane. I’m walking down the street pushing a stroller with two toddlers on it and juggling a white cane, primarily to assist drivers in coordinating intersections with me, because I am a responsible parent. Oh, and the children are adopted, although my disability has nothing to do with it. It does mean I was certified as a capable parent by a year-long screening by social workers, unlike most parents.

If you’re in the United States, do this: consult your local newspaper for a comprehensive listing of all movies that are playing within 50 miles of of your city. Then go to http://www.captionfish.com and do a search for your city. If you are deaf or hard of hearing, then only the titles, show times, and locations listed at CaptionFish are accessible to you. All the rest of the showings in your city are not, because they have no captions available, which means you won’t understand anything that is said in the movie. (Bear in mind that a given movie can have captions “available” and still be inaccessible at a particular location or showing time if the theater does not actually display the captions or have the technology to do this.)

I pick up the DVD or Blueray and check to see if it has subtitles for deaf people. I find that the main feature does have subtitles, but there is a notation indicating that the special features “may not” have them. As a deaf person, this means I will be able to watch the main feature but cannot count on being able to watch any of the special features.

One day, I am reading yet another Bobbsey Twin book when suddenly I discover that this book has a character just like me—a little deaf girl. I am joyed: I have never before read a story with a deaf character in it, someone I could identify with. Excitedly I read on. The little deaf girl has trouble understanding most of what Flo and Flo’s mother say to her. Eventually the mother says, “I’ll fix you up,” the girl says, “I’m already mixed up!” And mother and Flo laugh.

My friends deface a school advertisement for the National Association of Mental Illness, changing it from ‘You are not crazy’ to ‘You are crazy.’ I want to tell them about my anxiety disorder but I keep my mouth shut and try to laugh with them instead.  Made me feel like they would treat me differently if they knew about my mental illness.