power, privilege, and everyday life.
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178 posts tagged body
“Your hair is so cute! What are you mixed with?”
I’m a black girl who happens to have long hair. I didn’t know those two things were mutually exclusive.
I hate when people make comments about a girl having “huge tits” in front of me, as I have large breasts that I am really self-conscious of. It makes me think of people saying that about me as I walk by.
I am studying to become a teacher. I am black and I have natural hair. One of my colleagues found it necessary to pull me aside and inform me that “my current hair situation” just was not professional enough for me to go out to schools on teaching practice and she was surprised my lecturer hadn’t spoken to me about it. She reccommended that I “invest” in whatever the other black girls used because “I was smart enough to take steps to better myself and I’m too pretty for that anyway.” Made me confused, angry.
I happen to have more body hair than most girls, and I choose not to shave. Every time someone - a friend, a schoolmate, anyone - says something about my legs or underarms, I want to go hide.
Last summer, I finally gave in. I have begun waxing both my legs and my underarms. I feel more confident about wearing shorts and tank tops, but I also feel like I have “lost” the battle because I gave in to pressure.
In my office I have a photo of myself and my family from my high school graduation (I’m now in my mid 20’s). My advising professor (I’m a sociology graduate student) saw the photo, looked at me, and said, “Wow, what happened?” Then quickly corrected himself saying that I looked fine now, but just less “girly.”
“I think you should shave your legs, because it makes you look like a lesbian.”
From a relatively unknown person from my martial arts class. Besides that the condition of my body hair has nothing to do with her, it really angered me how she implied that lesbianism was something very undesirable.
Person:: Oh, you’re deaf?
Me:: Yes.
Person:: My dog’s deaf.
Me:: Um…Ok?
Person:: You are so pretty and smart! I would have never guessed you were deaf!
Me:: Umm…?
I had a man interrupt me talking to a waitress so he could ask more about the tattoo on my back, which he had to move my hair with his hand to see.
Recently a friend told me, that people say behind my back that I (small, fat –>ugly) am a “fighting/man-hating lesbian” and that most girls are afraid that o might hit on them someday.
A cop chased me a quarter of a block to ask me why I could run so well if I was out of shape.
I’m an African American girl and I’ve been getting perms since I was 6. They made my hair very unhealthy, burnt my edges, and gave me scabs on my head.I decided to go natural this year and get micro braids with extensions for protective/transitional styling and my dad doesn’t like it at all. He says things like Condelezza Rice doesn’t wear micro braids, Michelle Obama doesn’t wear micro braids, and ( INSERT INFLUENTIAL SUCCESSFUL BLACK WOMAN’S NAME HERE) doesn’t wear micro braids so I shouldn’t and they are ghettofabulous. He doesn’t want to understand that I don’t to change the hair texture God gave me to “fit in” and I want to embrace my natural hair because I already am clueless of my heritage because my ancestors were slaves. He also thinks my sister wearing her hair natural is hurting her “self-eestem.”
As I was walking down the street, in my exercise gear, a man rolled down his window and shouted, “THERE SHE BLOWS!”
“You might want to think about losing weight if you want to get married and have children. Men are very visual creatures.”
I wish I was comfortable enough to walk out of my house without some sort of jacket or other shapeless covering to hide my body from leery stares. Makes me feel objectified, ashamed, uncomfortable, inhibited.
