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520 posts tagged sexuality

Meatless Mondays are a healthy addition to your week - the issue is just convincing your husband!

Said by a female newscaster on a major network morning show - in Massachusetts, where same sex marriage has been legal for *years*. Because all women are married, and only to men - and men must love meat, not veggies. 

You should pierce your ears so people know you’re a girl.

People.

Lol, Asian gay guys are too girly, I suppose.

I’m at my campus bar and a male student starts chatting me up. I casually disclose that I am queer and have a girlfriend. Later that night, as he is leaving, he takes my hand, looks deep into my eyes and says, “Just so you know. I don’t believe that you’re gay. You’re too girlie and pretty.”

What hurts the most is that he thinks this is a compliment; as if the only reason I’m not with men is because I don’t think I’m ‘pretty’ enough for them. Another typical conflation of gender presentation and sexual orientation.

Don’t be ridiculous, I’m expecting grand children.

My mother after I came out as lesbian. 

My 77-year old father asked me, out of the blue, when my son starts high school. “In two years,” I say.

He then proceeds to caution me not to flaunt my queerness, as it may impact my son. “I see the way you’ve chosen to look, in your Facebook pictures. You should keep that stuff private.” 

Made me feel diminished, squashed, wrong. Sad.

You should dumb yourself down and lose weight, though. Men can’t love a smart, fat girl like you!

My mom at my law school graduation. Made me feel pissed off.   

Last week, I graduated from my university with honours. First thing my relatives ask me after congratulating me on my graduation? “When are you getting married?”

Yes, because for a woman, marriage is the next logical step after getting a bachelors degree. No one asked me about my career ambitions, because, as my dad says “You’re a woman, it’s not like you’ll get far anyways.”

Because simply by being me, my relationships are someone’s sexual fetish and it’s ok to ask me how scissoring works. Made me feel violated, angry.

"But according to Durkheim’s theories, won’t gay teens kill themselves more once society becomes more accepting of gays? ‘Cause like, right now, they have their niche as being different, and once they’re the same as heterosexuals they’ll just be normal."

Said by a student in my Sociology class when we were discussing suicide. Aside from being completely illogical, I was deeply offended as I am bisexual and trans* and have attempted suicide in the past because of the social shame and stigma around being queer. It made me feel like I am supposed to be glad that I am discriminated against and marginalized to the point of being suicidal because people who have never experienced my oppression tell me “different” is a good thing.

My (straight) roommate often plays an online game on Skype with his friends. This afternoon, he teased one of his (also straight) friends about “coming out of the closet.” Made me feel uncomfortable, like my sexuality and my experiences as a queer person are a joke.

If there’s a room/building for LGBTQ on campus why isn’t there one for straight people? Isn’t that what equality is all about?

This was one of the “confessions” on my university’s confession Facebook page.  It’s not uncommon for “confessions” like these to appear on the page and they get many likes.

I had just had several cysts removed from my groin area (due to long bike rides in denim). During the second follow-up from the surgery, the doctor sat me down and asked me if I had any intentions of having children in the near future. I responded “no” and he informed me that if I wanted to be a healthy woman (“to not get cancer”), and contribute to society, I must have children immediately.

After talking to a guy online for about a month and a half, I agreed to go on a date with him in person. Within 15 minutes of my arrival, he said that I was too ‘girly’ because I had painted one of my nails, and that he thought that I would be ‘more of a guy’. He had no problem with me, or my personality, just my fingernails. I walked out and cried in the street.

When a financial institution asks me my “mother’s maiden name” as a security question. Because it’s assumed that I have at least one and no more than one mother in my life AND that she married AND that she gave up her own name AND that that part of her identity was erased enough from my public history so as to be a password to access my private information.

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