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527 posts tagged sexuality

I’m 15 years old and don’t have a date to my sophomore homecoming. A friend and I decide to go together to save a few bucks. My friend has two moms, but it’s never been an issue with my family. We plan to get ready together, until my parents tell me I can’t.

When asked why, they say “Well, it just seems like they might think, oh look, our little girl is going on her first date and it’s with a girl!” As though all gay parents also want their kids to be gay. Not to mention, they didn’t know then that I’m gay.

I’m participating in my schools fall play and need to use a mirror in the girl’s changing room. I ask the girls if it’s okay for me to come in when one of them says it’s okay because I’m gay and that I have “an honorary vagina” and that I’m “basically one of the girls.” Just because I’m gay doesn’t mean I’m inherently feminine or that I’m one of the girls. It’s fine if your comfortable enough around me that it’s okay if I might see you changing, but just because I’m not objectifying you doesn’t mean you can consider me a female.

My dad shut the TV of while I watched a show simply because a character walked past two guys kissing. Felt like a knife to my gut. I haven’t yet told him I’m a lesbian and I’m almost possitive that when I do he’ll kick me out.

Damn, what a waste!

Straight male acquaintance after I came out to him as a lesbian. Was it supposed to be a compliment? Does a man get to judge my relationship with a woman as unfulfilling and “a waste?” Does he think that had been straight, he and other men would be entitled to sex with me?

My mom sees my LGBTerrific shirt and laughs, tells me that it’s okay to wear it inside the house, but not out. She then tells me to leave the activism out, because that will make my life so much harder and that I’m too young to do this. 

I am shopping for a new phone. The salespeople, all men, don’t seem to understand that I’ve done my research and know specifically what I want. When I finally list off why I have a specific choice, one comments, “You’re not shopping for a phone, you’re shopping for a husband!” I regret not telling him that I found the comment inappropriate.

Why aren’t you a part of the LGBTQ community? You don’t want to hang out with people like you?

A lesbian to me, after she found out that I am a transitioned transsexual man. Made me feel lumped into a category, my identity as a cisman invalidated. Just because I transitioned doesn’t mean that I’m “queer”!

Meatless Mondays are a healthy addition to your week - the issue is just convincing your husband!

Said by a female newscaster on a major network morning show - in Massachusetts, where same sex marriage has been legal for *years*. Because all women are married, and only to men - and men must love meat, not veggies. 

You should pierce your ears so people know you’re a girl.

People.

Lol, Asian gay guys are too girly, I suppose.

I’m at my campus bar and a male student starts chatting me up. I casually disclose that I am queer and have a girlfriend. Later that night, as he is leaving, he takes my hand, looks deep into my eyes and says, “Just so you know. I don’t believe that you’re gay. You’re too girlie and pretty.”

What hurts the most is that he thinks this is a compliment; as if the only reason I’m not with men is because I don’t think I’m ‘pretty’ enough for them. Another typical conflation of gender presentation and sexual orientation.

Don’t be ridiculous, I’m expecting grand children.

My mother after I came out as lesbian. 

My 77-year old father asked me, out of the blue, when my son starts high school. “In two years,” I say.

He then proceeds to caution me not to flaunt my queerness, as it may impact my son. “I see the way you’ve chosen to look, in your Facebook pictures. You should keep that stuff private.” 

Made me feel diminished, squashed, wrong. Sad.

You should dumb yourself down and lose weight, though. Men can’t love a smart, fat girl like you!

My mom at my law school graduation. Made me feel pissed off.   

Last week, I graduated from my university with honours. First thing my relatives ask me after congratulating me on my graduation? “When are you getting married?”

Yes, because for a woman, marriage is the next logical step after getting a bachelors degree. No one asked me about my career ambitions, because, as my dad says “You’re a woman, it’s not like you’ll get far anyways.”

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